He's quiet for a long moment, breathing slowly, listening to Billy's heartbeat, feeling the light sting of the fading cuts.]
I'm not supposed to want things for myself. [It's a belated answer to what Billy asked him before.] It's selfish. I'm supposed to... serve and protect and inspire, and all that.
[And anyway, Homelander fucking fails at a lot of that anyway, especially when he's from, doesn't he?
He shifts a little, careful to not dislodge Homelander from where he's settled though.]
They can't beat out all of human nature in you, lad, and wanting things... that's one of the most base urges. Fuck it, so's being selfish. [Maybe this cunt has a god complex, but he's not. So fucking far from it... so what's the point in keeping up the pretense?]
You got a chance here, y'know... to try to be more normal. You don't have to walk around in spandex, playing the fucking heroic supe all the time. You should take it before we're back where we came from.
[He wants to insist that he's not human, that he's practically a different species even if he looks like one of them... but he has a feeling Billy wouldn't take too kindly to that assertion.
But going by human standards, he's defective. Even more than he is by Vought standards.]
What if I'm not any good at normal? What if I'm just not... right?
[He's heard the doctors talking: unstable, deficient, violent, psychopathic...
[There's a slight twitch to his lips, a cruel smirk coming to them as he shifts a little bit closer to Homelander, reaches down with his free hand to brush along his jaw.]
But that's alright. So am I. Maybe being good or normal isn't in our nature... Doesn't mean we can't want things for ourselves, yeah?
[Or that they should try overly hard to be ideals they'll never live up to.]
Stop worrying about what Vought says. We've gone straight to hell... should be some freedom in that, for all the shit we're suffering.
[Homelander goes tense and rigid at the word monster, his gaze narrowing. He only relaxes, slowly, when Billy declares himself one -- and the touch helps, serving as nonverbal reassurance.
Billy can be pretty persuasive. If you look at it from that slightly skewed angle, hell doesn't sound too bad.
Freedom, huh?]
So you're saying I should lay down the cape and invest in some horns and hooves?
There's a difference, mate. You're so wound up on people seeing you as bloody-- Jesus fucking Christ in spandex. I'm not saying go out and murder everybody and level the hotel. You've still got to choose your battles.
[If Butcher minds the touches, he doesn't seem to show it. There's a sigh that passes his lips as he looks up towards the ceiling.]
You just don't have to walk around like you've got a stick up your arse either.
[Uh, rude. First, Jesus Christ in spandex is his fucking brand. Second, Would a guy with a stick up his ass let you jerk him off in the shower? C'mon.]
So I've got to broodily swagger around in a trench coat, is what you're saying.
[He huffs out a sigh, looking down at Homelander making himself at home. You jerk a guy off once and he thinks it's a free ticket to cuddle, apparently. He rolls his eyes at the cute comment.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[It's been an... eventful day.
He's quiet for a long moment, breathing slowly, listening to Billy's heartbeat, feeling the light sting of the fading cuts.]
I'm not supposed to want things for myself. [It's a belated answer to what Billy asked him before.] It's selfish. I'm supposed to... serve and protect and inspire, and all that.
no subject
[And anyway, Homelander fucking fails at a lot of that anyway, especially when he's from, doesn't he?
He shifts a little, careful to not dislodge Homelander from where he's settled though.]
They can't beat out all of human nature in you, lad, and wanting things... that's one of the most base urges. Fuck it, so's being selfish. [Maybe this cunt has a god complex, but he's not. So fucking far from it... so what's the point in keeping up the pretense?]
You got a chance here, y'know... to try to be more normal. You don't have to walk around in spandex, playing the fucking heroic supe all the time. You should take it before we're back where we came from.
no subject
But going by human standards, he's defective. Even more than he is by Vought standards.]
What if I'm not any good at normal? What if I'm just not... right?
[He's heard the doctors talking: unstable, deficient, violent, psychopathic...
Nobody's ever called him normal.]
no subject
[There's a slight twitch to his lips, a cruel smirk coming to them as he shifts a little bit closer to Homelander, reaches down with his free hand to brush along his jaw.]
But that's alright. So am I. Maybe being good or normal isn't in our nature... Doesn't mean we can't want things for ourselves, yeah?
[Or that they should try overly hard to be ideals they'll never live up to.]
Stop worrying about what Vought says. We've gone straight to hell... should be some freedom in that, for all the shit we're suffering.
no subject
Billy can be pretty persuasive. If you look at it from that slightly skewed angle, hell doesn't sound too bad.
Freedom, huh?]
So you're saying I should lay down the cape and invest in some horns and hooves?
no subject
Especially if it involves keeping Homelander dragged down to Hell, even if it means staying and rotting away with him.
But there's that grin lingering on his lips and he seems rather pleased Homelander's considering all this.]
I'm not saying you should set out to be the biggest cunt there is out there, but just fucking relax, mate.
no subject
You know, just a little while ago, you were saying I needed to work on my control.
[He edges closer, trailing a finger over Billy's chest in a slow, meaningless pattern.]
Now you're telling me to relax?
Seems a bit contradictory.
no subject
[If Butcher minds the touches, he doesn't seem to show it. There's a sigh that passes his lips as he looks up towards the ceiling.]
You just don't have to walk around like you've got a stick up your arse either.
no subject
So I've got to broodily swagger around in a trench coat, is what you're saying.
no subject
[Well, maybe he shouldn't be so obsessed with his fucking brand, then.
... But alright, he did let him jerk him off. Maybe he's loosening up a bit.]
You've got a closet full of hideous fucking t-shirts, stick with those.
no subject
You're awfully territorial about that smelly old coat of yours.
[He's squirmed in close enough to rest his head on Billy's chest, draping an arm around him.]
It's cute.
no subject
[He huffs out a sigh, looking down at Homelander making himself at home. You jerk a guy off once and he thinks it's a free ticket to cuddle, apparently. He rolls his eyes at the cute comment.]
Alright, alright... get some sleep.