[His breathing grows ragged, tears leaking over his face; all of his focus goes to keeping him moans quietly strangled, and even then, he can only hold back so much. This shouldn't be so hard, he should be better than this.
It's the hand on his shoulder that gives him a tiny bit of room to breathe.]
It--it's the only way I can--
[The only way anyone would ever love him, hold him, tell him he's not just a genetic fucking mistake. It's as essential as oxygen -- Homelander can hold his breath, but not forever -- only it's a whole lot more shameful than that. He shoves it down, again, grasping for something more palatable to say.]
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It's the hand on his shoulder that gives him a tiny bit of room to breathe.]
It--it's the only way I can--
[The only way anyone would ever love him, hold him, tell him he's not just a genetic fucking mistake. It's as essential as oxygen -- Homelander can hold his breath, but not forever -- only it's a whole lot more shameful than that. He shoves it down, again, grasping for something more palatable to say.]
They're--all I have.
[That's not much better, is it.]